Tackle it Tuesday

Here is the project I worked on Monday and Tuesday. This bathroom looked awful with the blue especially because the wall was so beat up. We struggled to get wallpaper down in there two years ago. I finally fixed the holes and painted it white. Not my first choice but our toilet is blue, our sink is blue and the counter top is white and blue marble-like. At this point I just want everything to look neat and clean when we try to sell the house. Next is the flooring in that bathroom and my husband will be doing that! Two bathrooms done in two weeks!! That inspires me to fix our basement bathroom up too but I'm tired of being in the bathroom.

Menu Monday

This should be an exciting menu since the hubby is gone all week. We usually are more casual and go with easy meals during those times. I haven't gotten my act together yet and put the prices there but I'm getting better!



Monday: Crispy Chicken (recipe from Heather)and corn
Tuesday: Soup, grilled cheese and carrots
Wednesday: Fish Sticks (we would never get away with this with my husband around), smileys and green beans
Thursday: BBQ Boneless Chicken, rice and applesauce
Friday: Chicken Nuggets, carrots and apples

Bathroom repairs

Here are pictures from all the hard work my father-in-law and mother-in-law put into our bathroom this week. Since we are probably selling the house in the summer we really wanted to put a wall surround in and get rid of the pink but we decided to be more practical and just repair the tile so we could work on other areas. I have to say that the work they did was fabulous and it looks so much cleaner in there. I will hopefully be much more excited to clean now that you can actually see a difference when you do it. I'm sure my husband still wants to paint the tile since he found a way to do it. He hates pink even more than I do!

Thankful Thursday!

I am keeping up with my blog!!! I had a very thankful Thursday at my house. My father-in-law and mother-in-law came to the door with tools prepared to work on my bathroom tile issues. I was so excited. Its one of the many jobs that needs to be taken care of before we sell this house. He took out the soap dish that was falling out and the loose tile around it. He was able to get the tile set up and just has to put the soap dish back in tomorrow and he will be touching up the poor grout. Its going to look brand new, still pink, but brand new! Next he is going to fix our leaking shower and toilet in the master bath. My dad will be coming out to visit in a few weeks and he is going to look at fixing my basement issues with my father-in-law. I'm so thankful that all our problems are being taken care of and that I have such a supportive family. It has been rough with Doug in the training and not being around much but they really stepped in and helped us when we needed it. I have pictures of the work but I'll save those until I can show the after pictures too.

Here is my list of thirteen things I am thankful for:
1. Jesus
2. supportive family
3. friends
4. house
5. 8:00pm bedtimes for the kids!
6. iPod
7. computer
8. car
9. growing patience
10. dry, warm days
11. my dog when she is lethargic
12. tennis
13. my kids being through the diaper stage

Was that the most exciting list you have ever seen or what?

Wordless Wednesday from Feb '01

Good Things, Bad Things

The kids and I were eating dinner tonight and chatting about different things. I can't remember what we were talking about but Robyn then replied that "when bad things happen, good things happen." I thought it was a silly statement at first but then I started thinking about it. How often do bad things happen to us only to be followed by some miracle? Here is a perfect example. Last week Doug's cousin was in a terrible accident and was life flighted to Toledo. It seemed hopeless then, out of no-where, things were improving and now he is at home walking and talking. On top of that my father-in-law had the opportunity to witness to him and his friends, now their lives may change forever. I guess it can be summed up best by a 7 year old, "when bad things happen, good things happen."

Wordless Wednesday

Five Reasons I Blog

I was tagged by Heather for this so here it goes.

1. Most of my family and friends live far away and blogging helps to keep everyone informed.

2. Its the only kind of scrapbooking I can tolerate because there is no cutting of pictures.

3. I needed a place to post pictures of my cute little babies (They will always be my little babies!).

4. I like to post funny and strange things that happen to us.

5. I am a former computer geek and still love to do things on the computer when I can.

After reading everyone else's meme I feel like I put such short answers. I guess I have a case of the blogger's block lately.

My Cool Tunes

I have been having so much fun lately that I have to tell everyone about it. As some of you know, Doug gave me an iPod for Christmas. Its funny because until November we didn't even really know what an iPod was since we have been sheltered from cool things since we have had children. Anyway, since then I have been gathering our CDs and putting them on it. I thought I was done until I started organizing our desk and found all my old work CDs (computer geek + computer geek co-workers = lots of CDs). I didn't know I was about to hit a gold mine. I found a CD with MP3 songs that was made in 1998/1999 before I really even knew what to do with them. This has all my favorite old music on it. It has everything from Beastie Boys, to Onyx, to Reel Big Fish, to Dr. Dre, to Goldfinger, to Biz Markie and all my favorite slow songs. I just love listening to those old songs and dancing around being goofy. Just ask my kids, they are extremely embarrassed. I've decided to use this for punishments. Whenever the kids wake up grumpy I put House of Pain - Jump Around on and make them dance to it. Garrett enjoys it but Robyn of course thinks I'm just a dork.

Have I been under a rock?

Today I realized how different things have become in our household and its a little sad. Since August Garrett has stopped sucking his thumb, carrying around his blankies, asking for his blankies, even remembering his blankies, cuddling with me each afternoon and sneaking into my bed in the middle of the night. If he wakes up while I am on the treadmill or showering he puts a movie in instead of the crying and whining for me that he used to do. He even buckles himself into the booster seat and dresses himself. I can't believe my little snuggler is becoming so independent. I'm proud of him growing up but thinking about it makes me feel depressed. Soon he will be going through the kindergarten screening and moving out of being a preschooler.

I can't believe how Robyn has changed either. She no longer wants to watch cartoons or to admit that she likes Polly Pocket. She is missing her front two teeth and is now getting embarrassed when I walk into the school to get her at the end of the day. She likes me to help in her class at least. She is also extremely embarrassed by my music and my dancing. Can I help it if she isn't as much fun or as cool as me? She is singing in the school variety show tomorrow and I'm excited for her. She has great confidence and isn't worried about it at all.

Why are my kids so independent and confident while I'm turning into an emotional wreck? I have to get past this before a baby itch starts. Doug has already turned me down in the baby department earlier this year because all he can think about is a trip to Disney next April. For anyone that knows him, yes, his addiction to Disney Vacation Planning is getting worse. He consistently checks Disney for package deals and direct flights and is worried about getting the Cinderella breakfast scheduled. I have never seen anything like this before. I guess its good, I just want to know a week ahead of time so I don't excited too early.

Snow Days

This is our second snow day in a row. I'm not sure how many inches we have because of the drifts but shoveling was tough. I absolutely love my neighbors! When I couldn't take it anymore I went in to rest and when I looked out the window to see what I had left the rest was all done and they even widened my paths with their snow blower. I don't know what I would have done without their help today. My back is killing me but I guess its because I rarely use these muscles (I also moved a desk yesterday from the basement to my bedroom and that didn't help). The real frustrating part was thinking that my husband is in Georgia for the week having a maid clean his room and eating out with his classmates. How fair is that? And on Valentine's Day! He told me he's making it up to me on Saturday so I'm excited. Here are pictures of a snow day at our household, after playing in the snow of course.

This week's drama

On Sunday morning Garrett was playing with the dog while I was in the shower and Doug was making breakfast. Doug unlocked the bathroom door and told me Garrett needed to go to the hospital. Garrett held up the dog's rope and she jumped up to get it and knocked him over on top of the heating register where he cut his knee. He had to get three stitches. Luckily our next door neighbor was one of the doctors on duty so that helped us feel a lot better. He felt great after he was sewn up since he was still numb. He was even running around at church. After we dropped him off to visit Grandma and Grandpa in the afternoon the numbness wore off and he has been uncomfortable ever since. He is actually doing nothing but SITTING STILL! Can you imagine Garrett doing that?

Night at the Museum

On Saturday we decided to have some family fun and celebrate Robyn's excellent grade card so we went to see Night at the Museum. That was the best movie I've seen in a long time. The kids didn't talk the entire movie which is a miracle in itself. The movie was enjoyable for all of us and it even looked like they kept Robin Williams under control by not letting him be "funny" or make annoying sounds. We were pleasantly surprised and the kids are still talking about how much they liked it.

This week is starting out to be busy and hectic and with all the stuff that I hate dealing with taxes, car repair, snow shoveling and appointment setting. Of course Doug is traveling so I get to enjoy all of this alone. I'm counting the days until his program is over in June so we won't have traveling to deal with anymore.

This is a picture of Garrett and his cousin Scott just hanging out at our house a few weeks ago. They get along great. Scott is 8 and he really takes care of Garrett.

Charlotte's Web

Its been hard to find the time to blog lately. For the second time in two weeks the kids have had four day school weeks. As fun as that is for them its hard work for me. We have had a house full with cousins, friends and babysitting kids. We have had lots of sleepovers and playdates. I feel like I spend most of my time in the kitchen feeding kids and cleaning up their messes.

On Saturday I was able to go to the movies with Robyn and Garrett to see Charlotte's Web. I was looking forward to taking them there because they love the whole theater experience, I dreaded the movie though. I already knew the story and I would have rather seen Night at the Museum but we are saving that for when Doug can go. Anyway, we started watching the movie and I really started to get into it despite my annoyance with talking animals. I started getting all emotional and I even cried when the spider died. I couldn't believe that I was crying and my emotional daughter decided to keep herself composed for a change. I even saw Garrett looking over at Robyn for her reaction and she since she wasn't crying this time he didn't either. I guess I'm the only one that can't control herself.

Robyn turned 7!!!!

I can't believe my little girl is 7 already. I feel like I woke up one day and she was no longer interested in Dora or Strawberry Shortcake. She wants to write in her diary and spend hours reading and listening to music in her room.

She had a family party and a couple of girls sleep over for her birthday. Her big gift was going to Build-A-Bear workshop. She loved picking out clothes and shoes for her floppy-eared bunny that she created and can't wait to go back and buy more clothes and shoes for it.

Dogs grow faster!

And I thought kids grew fast!!! She will not be a year old until March 17th and she is already huge. When she lays on our queen size bed now she reaches all the way across. I became such a germaphob when my kids were born that I never thought I would like dogs again but I was wrong. She is my new buddy. I love having someone who follows me around and doesn't talk back. She only wants to make me happy. It will be nice to have such a good watch dog when Doug has to travel now.

Toothless Tuesday!!!!!

Robyn lost her 4th tooth today! The first came out in kiwi, the second Robyn pulled out, the third Doug pulled and this one was mine. Garrett is excited about pulling her next one!

New Year, New Challenges

I have been keeping a lot of this to myself but I figured it was time for me to share some of the things I have been working on and getting ready to face in the next year.

As I talked about earlier, we will probably be moving around July and that has started me thinking about my future. First, Garrett is scheduled to start Kindergarten in September so I would be eligible to work. Second, we have no idea where we will be moving but I wanted to think about a career change that would work anywhere we would move.

Doug will be starting his training tomorrow which means he will be going away to Georgia and Virginia for a week here and there until June. I decided that during that time I will write a book tenatively titled "Parents Leaving Children Behind." This book will defend educational professionals against further blame or responsibilities until parents start preparing their children for school and getting involved with their basic needs (nutrition, sleep, exercise, etc.). This book will discuss ways to prepare your child for school and how to build a strong foundation. I am in research mode now and collecting research statistics from a number of resources.

With regards to my working when school starts in the fall I decided to attain my personal trainer certification. I spent months and years in high school going through physical therapy for my knees and looking back, I realized how much I love that environment and the impact it can have on people. I began thinking that if I had all the money in the world I would open a gym. I will start on a much smaller scale of course. Since we will be moving a few times in the next 10 years I am planning on homeschooling again. With this taking up my days I thought of a great way to incorporate both plans. I will start an after school program wherever we move. It will focus on building a healthy lifestyle. I would like to rent a gym and greet the kids each day with a healthy snack and plenty of fun games that will show them that taking care of your body can be fun. I thought this would be very helpful to working parents especially when adolescent obesity is on the rise. I could also use this opportunity to help build a support system for the kids and witness to them. This would tie in well with the homeschooling because my kids would learn this also and interact with plenty of kids each day. I would also like to move into training people as my schedule permits. I am working on the financing for the certification package now.

Sorry if I'm rambling now. I feel like my head is just filled with ideas now and I can't wait to reach my goals.

Things Are Never Dull!

Yesterday when Robyn came home from school I was starting to look through her backpack when she came up to me with a box. She said she had something to show me and was holding out a pretty gold box VERY close to my face. I was expecting a cute craft from school or a hand made gift from a friend. It turned out to be a dead fish! I was thrilled of course. This was the first time that I learned she had a classroom fish. Her teacher was told that she was not allowed to hold a funeral so Robyn asked if she could take it home and have one.

We all marched out to the backyard and said a few words about Blueberry. Garrett prayed that Blueberry wouldn't die but Robyn quickly reminded him that "he's dead already." We buried him under a pine tree. Robyn spent the next 20 minutes crying over her homework.

I was sure to thank her teacher for the dead fish when I went in to help today.

The Holidays Are Over

We had a great time during the holidays. It was nice and relaxing and it brought out the best of the kids. Garrett even lets Robyn use his train table for her Polly Pocket Rockin' Theme Park. Nothing eventful, just a nice Christmas Eve and Christmas morning at home then a party at my in-laws house at night. It was a lot of fun!

After Christmas we started doing a lot of work on the house since we got Lowe's gift cards. We'll have this house in great shape by the time we have to sell it.

I'm looking forward to the new year. Doug starts his training on the 8th and I think he is really going to enjoy this position. Robyn will be turning 7 this month and has just signed up to audition for her school variety show. Garrett is finally starting to eat better and starting to grow. I'm thinking about a completely different career for when Garrett starts kindergarten in the fall and I'm planning for that.

I love the beginning of a new year and the all the possibilities!

Our Big Announcement

I just realized that I have not talked to many people in the last few weeks. Doug has accepted a promotion from a locomotive electrician to a mechanical supervisor for Norfolk Southern. This means that from January to June he will be traveling a lot and taking lots of classes. Its not as bad as the initial training that was 7 weeks straight. This time other than the 3 weeks in the beginning it will be every other week for traveling to Norfolk, VA, McDonough, GA and Atlanta, GA. At the end of June he will complete the training and will be assigned to a shop. That is where most of the fun comes in. We have no idea where we will be moving. Norfolk Southern is in 22 different states and I believe there are 256 shops. Now while Doug is traveling and studying I get to prepare the house so we can sell it. Its hard to believe we are going to have to sell it, I really didn't think we were going to move again. I'm sad that I'll be leaving so many family and friends but I think its an exciting change. The kids are more excited than I thought. I expected the drama from Robyn with leaving her relatives and friends from school but she seems happy about it. The kids want a site that is closer to Disney World. I don't want to get a location in my mind because that is where we won't be sent. :)

Our Actions

I am still thinking about a sermon that I heard on Sunday so I thought I would share it. We visited our old church because the kids were begging to see their relatives, old friends and teachers. They have a new pastor and his message was great.

The sermon talked about how our conduct is related to our expectations. He used the example of the wisemen that set out following a star and found a shack. Is that what you expect when you set out to see a king? He also used the example from A Christmas Story where the boy wanted a red rider bb gun and got a pink bunny suit. I started to think about the times when I'm the most frustrated and angry and he was right. In every instance I'm expecting things from myself and other people that are not always possible. Now that I have heard this I'm going to try and apply it by looking at my expectations before I react.

I did not EXPECT Garrett to make this face when I took the picture.

Finally Rachel!!!

I'm finally getting around to the holiday meme that Rachel tagged me for. Robyn is home sick today so I have some time. Here it is:
1. Eggnog or hot chocolate? Both, I even love egg nog ice cream and shakes.
2.Does Santa wrap presents or just set them under the tree? Santa doesn't visit our house. We wrap the presents ourselves. We used to have them under the tree early but we don't trust the puppy yet!
3. Colored lights on the tree/house or white? I like white lights but I am out numbered in this house. Luckily our tree has built-in white lights.
4. Do you hang mistletoe? Don't need to, we do lots of kisses anyway.
5. When do you put your decorations up? On or right before Thanksgiving.
6. What is your favorite holiday dish, excluding dessert? Don't have one, I like a lot of different things.
7. Favorite holiday memory as a child? Visiting my relatives in upstate PA every Christmas as a child.
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? We always traveled to upstate PA and I started to notice that after we got in the car every year my mom had to go back in and go to the "bathroom." That is when she put the presents out for us to come back to.
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? We exchanged extended family gifts when I was growing up. Now we just open one gift on Christmas Eve.
10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree? Red and gold balls with whatever ornaments we get as gifts or crafts the kids make.
11. Snow! Love it or Dread It? Both, I love to watch it falling and everything covered in white. I also do not like going out in the snow or the cold.
12. Can you ice skate? Nope
13. Do you remember your favorite gift? No, I have a bad memory
14. What is the most important thing about the holidays to you? Spending time with family, going to church and listening to Christmas carols.
15. What is your favorite holiday dessert? Don't have one.
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? We travel every other year so its hard to have one.
17. What tops your tree? An angel.
18. Which do you prefer, giving or receiving? Giving
19. What is your favorite Christmas song? I love all of them.
20. Candy canes, Yum or Yuck! I like the other flavors but not peppermint.

Finally!!!!

This finally came out on Wednesday night. We had to put our foot down and had Doug pull it. The sight of the freaky fang was making me sick to my stomach. I let her lay in my lap and hold my hands while Doug pulled it. One side was a lot longer than the other which is why it took so long to come out.

Hoping for a Toothless Tuesday!!

Childhood Memories

Isn't it great how a smell or taste can trigger memories from your childhood? I was thinking the other day about my grandmother and pictured her at the sink doing her dishes after dinner. I remembered that she used Ivory Snow dish detergent and I loved the smell of it. Just remembering that scent gave me such a clear view of how she looked and how much I loved being in her house. She had a beautiful house in the woods near the beach and there were so many fun and interesting things to see around her house. Everytime we visited we would take a walk down to the beach and take a look at the Chesapeake Bay. When we came back we would have a little snack of wheat crackers and Lemondade. I looked at the store the other day to try and find the same kind of dish detergent so I could constantly remember her but they didn't have it. I can't believe something as minor as a dish detergent can make me so sad. I wish I had that piece of her now.

On a lighter and similar note, I had a little bit of honey yesterday and it reminded me of a trip my parents took me on when I was a child. They took me to a place where honey was produced and I can just picture the entire inside of the building with all the beehives. I can see it but can't remember all the details since I was pretty young.

I'm amazed that we can gather all these memories through our lives and they shape us into the people we are. I think we all need to focus on each individual day to create memories that will have an impact on the people around us. I'm going to start working on this and using this to make our holidays relaxing, fun and memorable.

Girls and Boys Find Fun in Different Ways

This picture is dedicated to all my friends that have only boys. See what fun you miss? I just love having someone that is thrilled to brush and style my hair. She really reminds me of all the fun there is behind hair, makeup and clothes.

This is a picture of how Jackson played when he was at my house this week. I think the results are complete. Every boy I have encountered does this with cars and trucks. Is there a handbook or training class for little boys that I haven't heard about?

Halloween

Last night was a lot of fun. It was the first year we didn't have to deal with strollers, wagons or tons of tripping. The kids kept a quick pace and we were able to cover our entire neighborhood. The city had the ambulance driving around using their speakers to scare people by the sounds of blood boiling and moaning "help me, help me!" I thought that was a great way to keep the police and ambulances keeping an eye on everything but in a fun way. Its nice to know we live in such a safe neighborhood.

Now the fun job of saying no to more candy every 5 minutes! I'm just exaggerating of course. We have agreed to a piece after lunch and after dinner.

Taffy

I just haven't had much to blog about lately. I just don't have much time for the computer and nothing new is going on. Same old stay-at-home mom stuff (boogers, vomit, potty wiping, cleaning, cooking, volunteering).


Taffy was spayed yesterday at 7 months old. These are pictures from last night. She had such sad droopy eyes. She was doing well yesterday because she was nice and sedated. Today she was a lot more active and the incision site doesn't look as well as I had hoped. I'm hoping it heals more overnight, if not I'll have to take her back to vet. That would be fun considering she is now 56 pounds and is not supposed to climb into the car yet. The vet recommended Benadryl if she is too active so I will need to buy that tomorrow morning. She was too active for me to even look at the site until 10pm. I couldn't believe she felt like jumping up on the beds and couch (she is not allowed on any of them by the way).

That was the excitement for the beginning of the week. The end of the week will be Robyn's school Halloween party that I'm in charge of arranging. I can't wait to see what excitement pops up in the middle of the week. There is always something you don't plan for!!!

Fall Fun!

We had a great time on Saturday at the Enderle Farm. They had hayrides, a corn maze, snacks and some other activities and they were all free!! They also sold the standard stuff like apples, pumpkins, apple cider and crafts.

We had the most fun on the corn maze. They had it set up so you had get six stamps on your card by finding the six stations. We split up into two teams (girls vs. boys) and raced each other. The girls ended up running through the maze and winning!

I love this time of year!!!!

My Watchdog

I'm officially turning into one of those dog people. I find myself talking to the dog and treating her like a person. Luckily for Taffy, Doug is putting his foot down and not letting me buy her any clothes like the superman costume I wanted to get so badly. I tried to explain that she will need a winter coat but he won't listen. This annoying little puppy has turned into a large moose of a watchdog. She gaining weight at a rapid pace and you can actually see her growing each day. She loves our family so much and lets us know if something out of the ordinary is happening. She spends her days going from window to window checking things out and carrying her blanky around. She is a great playmate for the kids and she is a cuddly friend to me and Doug. Her only bad habit now is jumping but we are going to work on that this week before she gets spayed.

Our weekend

We had an exciting weekend with Robyn getting student of the month and Garrett scoring two goals at soccer. They are both working so hard toward their goals and its really fun to watch their determination.

We had a lot family fun this weekend with cuddling on the couch watching family movies and seeing the kids follow Doug with their lawn mowers as Doug cut the grass. I'm really enjoying the quiet before all the holidays start.

Blogger's Block

I have blogger's block lately. I don't really have much to talk about and don't have much time to do it.

Today we went to the Norfolk Southern Family Day. Here are some pictures from it. Doug's parents went along with Dennis, Cindy, Nancy, Andy, Jonathon, Scott, Robyn, Garrett, me and Doug. We had a chance to look at the locomotives Doug works on and they had lots of activities for the kids. The kids had their first shot at decorating pumpkins for the season.

Kristy's trip

My sister Kristy came out to visit last week so things are finally getting back to normal here. She came out from North Carolina with her 2 year old son Chase and her 4 year old dog Harley (Boxer). We had a lot of excitement here with the extra kids I was watching and school starting. I think she is thankful she only has one! The weather was a little chilly but were were able to see the beach and play there, visit the pier in Huron and have a personalized tour from Grandpa - Fire Chief Bores at the Norwalk Fire Department.



Robyn started school last Tuesday and she loves it. Garrett had his pre-K orientation today and will begin class on Thursday. He is looking forward to starting and I'm thrilled that this is my last year to pay for preschool!

Doug is coming home on Thursday night so I am very excited. The kids will be surprised when they wake up on Friday morning. I haven't told them because they will nag me non-stop until he gets here. It will be so nice that he doesn't have to travel anymore!

Fall is Beginning!!!

I guess I should keep up with my blog since Heather and Jen are so actively keeping up with theirs and making me feel bad.

I can't believe summer is almost over already. Doug will be home in 2 weeks hopefully, 3 weeks at the most. We have missed him so much!



Garrett started soccer last Saturday and he loves it. Here is a picture of him getting ready to attack the ball.



We have had a lot of fun this summer going to the beach, pool, ice cream trips and Cedar Point with Grandma and Grandpa. This week my sister, Kristy, will be coming up from North Carolina to visit with her 2 year old son and her dog Harley.

Robyn starts school tomorrow and she is very excited. She was able to meet her teacher on Friday and is even more excited now. I'll be missing Robyn all day while she is at school but will enjoy not having to referee fights.

I'm so excited that fall is starting. I love seeing all the color of the leaves and feeling the crisp cool air. We love to go on hayrides, travel through mazes, go to the fall festivals and decorate pumpkins. I even enjoy napping to the sound of football in the background. I can't wait!!!

My Parents

I was looking forward to my parents coming out all summer. They came out Thursday morning and left Sunday morning. I can't believe how fast it went. I feel so sad that they have left. It was so nice to have the company and especially with people who know and love you so much. I enjoyed every moment that they were out. On Thursday we were able to go to the beach and have a quiet afternoon. On Friday we went to Cedar Point. On Saturday they had the chance to see Garrett practice soccer and we went out to eat and saw a Cruise-in. Every minute with them was fun and enjoyable, even with my kids getting sick on the last day of it for the 3rd time in a month. I just can't believe its over already. I can't believe how much I miss them.

Life Trials and Decisions

Our second week without Doug was a little more difficult than the first. The kids are becoming more clingy and I find that I am short tempered. Robyn actually cried on two out of four nights of vacation school (her 2nd VBS of the summer) and Garrett kept asking to be a baby again and for me to cuddle and carry him. Right now they both have fevers for the second time in a month so of course I'm a little concerned.

When I first found out that Doug had to travel I felt like this was just another punishment from God for poor decisions and sin in my life. Now I am feeling like this is a time to reflect on my life as an individual, to look at where I've been and figure out where I'm going. The amount of information that I have found out about myself in the last month is incomprehensible.

It seems hard to believe that you could be 30 years old and not know who you are. I think you get so caught up in life and family that you forget about the things that make you happy and events that made you who you are. I look back now at things I liked in high school and wonder why I wasn't smart enough to realize that I could have made something I enjoy, my career. Is this why depression is on the rise? I don't think I'm the only one that feels this way. I think my generation really struggles with making career decisions. Its just a hunch, but I bet the statistics for my generation show that there was the highest rate of undeclared majors up to that point. What are high school guidance counselors even there for? Was anyone even talked to or guided by one of them?

I picked my career because I knew I could make a lot of money without a degree. It wasn't because I especially liked being a computer consultant for pharmaceutical and energy companies. I didn't enjoy being around computer geeks that didn't know how to interact with humans. When you are in a career that is wrong for you it is draining and miserable. You race to get there so you can leave sooner. I know what its like and have no desire to go back there. Now I am only 28 credits away from a degree in business management. You know what, I don't have what it takes to be a manager nor do I want to be one! I don't like to delegate and always feel like I'm putting people out. I am too soft spoken and get walked on too easily. What I do have is a desire to work with people, an empathetic heart and the drive to make a difference. I want to pick something I enjoyed from my earlier days and turn it into my career. I have so many ideas of what I should have done.

What can we learn from this? I think we need to re-evaluate and re-visit the things we enjoyed when we were younger. I never saw a point in looking back before so I had a hard time learning this lesson. I started indulging myself in books and movies that looked interesting and I started learning a lot about myself. I can see why I am the way that I am. The most important part of this process is to share what we have learned with our children. Wouldn't it be great if they didn't have to learn some of the hard lessons we had to learn?

Is it too late for me? My husband doesn't think so. He is always telling me to go for it, but lets be practical, how many families with young children can afford to have one parent working and the other one going to school? Do you just suck it up, get through life and help your kids see what they excel at?